Calling All Mothers, You are NOT a proper mother if…
- You Had a Caesarean.
- You Didn’t Breastfeed
- You didn’t Co-sleep
- You buy Shoes called Dolly Babes For Your Daughter
- You buy Boys tops that say Little Man Big Ideas or Girls tops that say Little Girl Big Smiles
- You don’t have a sleep routine by 6 weeks old
- You don’t do Baby Led Weaning
- You don’t have at least three after school activities planned for every child in the family
- You don’t use Organic Cotton clothing.
- You let your child have an occasional take-away.
Don’t hate me! I’m obviously not serious, but this is the actual load of shit (I know, must unlike me to swear!) I have seen appear on social media in the past few weeks and I am absolutely sick of it, so here are my answers to this complete and utter dribble.
You Had a Caesarean.
Caesareans are no indication of motherhood whatsoever, in fact I am pretty sure that many women do not actually WANT to have a major operation that will put them out of action for weeks, at the most emotional and happiest time of their lives, I have been lucky (yes I count myself lucky, although maybe my female anatomy would disagree) that I had my seven without the need for a caesarean, but for anyone that says it makes you less of a mother, kiss my arse!
2. You Didn’t Breastfeed
Breastfeeding is NOT the be all and end all of motherhood, despite many keyboard warriors telling you different, I have breastfed all seven of my children and I LOVED it! I am far too lazy to get up in the middle of the night and make a bottle, and I take my hat off to anyone that does, but newsflash, how we choose to feed our babies is no-one’s business but our own.
Having visited hundreds of women who are starting out on their breastfeeding journey, and many that decided it wasn’t for them, I can tell you it’s not a decision anyone takes lightly and its only made worse by unwanted opinions, so if anyone tells you your feeding method makes you less of a mother, kiss my arse!
3. You didn’t Co-sleep
Co-sleeping for breastfeeding mothers is inevitable, the hormone released whilst breastfeeding is one that you experience whilst in the heights of passion, so it’s no wonder we can’t stay awake!
So if you bottle feed, the chances are you may not co-sleep, and I would expect that your health visitor would also advise against it, but whether you choose to or not, guess what ? It’s nobody else’s business (except maybe your partner that may get kicked out of the marital bed to make way for a little person!) Less of a Mother ? Nope, don’t like it, then KMA!
4. You buy Shoes called Dolly Babes For Your Daughter
Dolly Babes for all those of you that are thinking its a porn mag are in fact a pair of Clarks Shoes, that have caused uproar because they are sexist!! Really ? My daughter has these exact shoes, not because she thought Dolly Babes was the ultimate playground street cred name, but because she LIKED them.
After an entire year of climbing trees, swinging on monkey bars, splashing in muddy puddles (sometimes mum forgets the wellies – probably another reason i’m not a proper mum!) they have lasted the entire year. In fact, they still look pretty good and have proved to me that they were up for the job, I, quite frankly don’t give a damn what they are called, so if its a problem, then KMA!
5. You buy Boys tops that say Little Man Big Ideas or Girls tops that say Little Girl Big Smiles
A few weeks back there was uproar (who knew such little things could cause such offence) because Morrisons produced a long sleeved top in Navy that says Little Boys Big Ideas, and they also produced a girls top that said Little Girl Big Smiles, with one tweeter commenting that Morrisons obviously don’t think much of girls! (If you read the article you will see that the girls top actually costs 50p more, so one could argue that they value the girls more!)
Yes it’s lovely that you want your children to grow up and be prime minister or to save the world, but I really think that by allowing them to wear these tops is not going to damage them beyond repair, maybe if some of the top earning women in the world had worn a top that encouraged them to smile more, things would be different! So, if you think I am sexist and living in the Victorian ages KMA!
6. You don’t have a sleep routine by 6 weeks old
I have seven children and have probably not had an entire nights sleep in 19 years, but so what! I may occasionally fall asleep next to whichever child I am ‘helping’ get to sleep, I have been known on several occasions to climb into cots/cot beds/bunk beds with a child, and most nights there has been at least one child in my bed during the night, FOREVER, but it doesn’t make me a shit mum.
Likewise if you have got your child into a sleep routine from a young age that you are happy with, then good luck to you, it makes neither of us a crap parent, it just means we are doing it differently, those who don’t like it KMA!
7. You don’t do Baby Led Weaning
Newsflash! Baby Led Weaning wasn’t a ‘thing’ when I had my first child, in fact, we were advised to start solids (well, mushed up banana or carrot) from 4 months old and cross your fingers and hope that they managed to get some in their mouths, there was no waiting until 6 months and there was no way a large piece of finger food was going anywhere near my baby, it was pureed to death and shovelled in.
Move forward nearly 20 years and its all completely different, (just like it was different 40 years ago when I was born and the mums were told to only feed a breastfed baby every 4 hours) so there you have it, the advice changes and there is no right or wrong way, and anyone who thinks different can KMA!
8. You don’t have at least three after school activities planned for every child in the family
Some children enjoy being at clubs and doing hobbies, some do not, that doesn’t mean that a mum whose child doesn’t partake in any after school activities is any less loved that one who has a schedule so full that they don’t have time to breathe, likewise the mum of a busy child also loves their child just as much, its all about the individual.
I have two of the seven (so far) that love doing every sports club available, whereas another prefers drama club, one did Brownies, another hated it, but it doesn’t make the parent’s choices any more or less important. And, again if you disagree KMA! (not that i’m bothered if you do, as we are all entitled to our own opinions!)
9. You don’t use Organic Cotton clothing.
I remember having a conversation about school uniform with a parent that only had one child and she looked aghast that my children had clothes from Primark or Peacocks, she looked at me like something on the bottom of her shoe because SHE only allowed her child to wear Organic Cotton!
Well that’s her choice and that’s great with just one child, but funny enough each of my children have different tastes and will choose to wear different things, one of the children has sensory issues, so clothing choice is a HUGE issue, and I will allow him to wear whatever brand or material he chooses (it’s either that or a naked child!) So it’s not so black and white, everybody and their circumstances is different, but neither way makes you less of a parent, so KMA!
10. You let your child have an occasional take-away.
An occasional take-away will NOT kill your child contrary to some social media posts I have read lately, a blogger had put a lovely instagram picture of their family at a popular family hang-out (pretty sure there were 2 golden arches) and the backlash that was spouted, was appalling, i’m not sure when every parent in the world suddenly got a conscience and started making a family meal out the biggest sin in the world, but seriously, it got ridiculous.
Well I admit, my children have all, at some time in their life had a take-away and they LOVED it! I’m not sure when it got so bad that a happy meal equated to committing a deadly sin, so letting your child have a non freshly prepared organic quiche once in a while isn’t the end of the world,m in fact, mine see it as a treat. and for the very last time if you do think it makes me a dreadful mother KMA!
We are all mothers and we are all doing the best we know how, sometimes we get it perfect, other days we just suck as parents, but that’s OK because sometimes our kids are amazing, other days their moods or outbursts suck too, so NOBODY is perfect, and anyone that tells you otherwise is LYING or seriously deranged. It appears I am not alone in my thinking, check out Organizing Chaos’s post on The Bad Parent: You Let Your Child Do What?
Celebrate Motherhood and all who are a part of it xxx