What Happens When Relatives Get Old
Last week my mum went to stay with my nan for a couple of days, she is quite lucky that my auntie lives opposite and my uncle spends lots of his time living at my nan’s house (and has done since I can remember) so it is very rare that she is on her own, however my mum just felt that she needs to visit (she probably just wants a break from my dad for a week and vice versa!) When my mum used to work in London she lived with my nan during the week, so I know she sometimes misses their evening chats too, and its hard to think about what happens when relatives get old.
My grandad passed away when I was pregnant with Xene, and I always think it is such a shame that he never got to meet any of his great grand children, although he did get to meet Asa, so for that I am grateful. If I am honest I really cannot see my Nan ever getting old, she has THE most amazing skin, so many people have asked if my mum, auntie and Nan are sisters (much to the amusement of Nan and the disgust of mum and auntie!) I always said it was the German genes and I hope that I have inherited them!
She is a very proud woman and always takes care of her appearance, she has a hearing aid (which you will NEVER see her wear in public!) and she has been given a frame to steady her walking, but you can bet your bottom dollar she won’t use it!
I used to love sitting when I was smaller listening to her life as a wife and mother living on the army barracks and how she always had the cleanest house and was the envy of the officers wives (I definitely have not inherited that gene!)
When my other Nan (nanny on her own) had her stroke and we had to seriously think about nursing care it was a very difficult decision, as the oldest grandchild I somehow seemed to think that I had a huge responsibility to ensure she was somewhere suitable and I looked around many care homes with my dad and uncle, and we all eventually agreed on the same one. Asa was exactly the same when it came to choosing somewhere for his nanna too, so I think it must be an oldest grandchild thing!
Some of the children still remember Nanna Max and talk about her fondly, it always amazes me how children seem to talk about loved ones who have passed away so easily, I wish we, as adults could do the same, but we always seem to find it harder, and its not something we find easy to discuss. Sunlife has some useful information that may answer questions you have.
Both grandmothers needed the 24 hour care, but if I am honest, I really cannot see ‘Big Nanny’ (the children’s name for my Nan) ever needing one, although it will eventually happen i’m sure, I still have memories of my Great Nan coming to live with my Nan and Grandad and her constantly leaving her false teeth on the arm of the chair!
I guess if I cannot see my Nan in a home, that gives me even longer to not have to consider my own parents going down that route, it’s strange that I don’t really see my mum and dad as old, or is that just denial, because if they are old, then I must be getting older too! Although looking at my seven beautiful children I have to admit that we are all getting older…
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