When You Stand at the school Gates how many of these 11 types of modern school run parents can you spot, and which one are you!
With many children starting school this week for the very first time, or the pros who are getting back into the swing of the school run, it has emerged that there are no less than 11 types of parents at the school gate, how many of these can you recognise and which do you most identify with!!
CLIPBOARD MUM – Swapped a high-flying career to be the PTA CEO.
Stands by the gates to charm / browbeat other parents into signing up to the PTA board, to run stalls at the school fete, to organise the cakes sales, sew school play costumes and hand over cash for charity runs. Revered and feared. Other mums run when she starts striding over. Most likely to say: “Didn’t you get my email on that?’
WHATSAPP MUM – Always late, always disorganised, depends on the class WhatsApp group for absolutely everything. Usually found WhatsApping at 9pm on a Sunday night to get homework which has to be handed in on Monday morning. Most likely to say: “Sorry I didn’t get that message, can you resend it?”
INSTAGRAM MUM – Arrives polished and preened with three picture-perfect kids. Bouncy hair, dazzling megawatt smile, endless supply of enviable, fashionable new clothes. Snaps a ‘what I wore on the school run selfie’ each day. Most likely to say: “Oh what, this old top / dress / bag? It’s just a little vintage find.”
HANDBAG DOG MUM – Carries a small teacup dog in a large and blinging designer bag. Dog gets more love, fuss and after-school treats than the kids. Most likely to say: “My dog is my baby, she’s just soooo cute.”
ACTIVEWEAR MUM – Always clad in tight Lycra and the latest mesh-panel leggings. Runs to school, jogs on the spot at drop off, and can’t wait to ‘drop and dump’ so she can get on with her exercise regime. Often runs in packs with other activewear mums. Most likely to say: “Sorry can’t stop, I’m in training today and have got to beat my personal best.”
CRAFT MUM – Always brings in recycling and expertly done homework craft creations. Feared at bake sales for producing handmade, perfectly iced and decorated cupcakes. Wrinkles her nose at your Tesco packed sponge cakes. Usually skips around in Boden tea dresses or is arty and alternative. Most likely to say: “It’s so easy, only takes a jiffy and well, making it yourself just shows that extra bit of love, don’t you think?”
VEGAN ECO MUM – Lovely and well-meaning but playdates and parties are a minefield – no plastic, no eggs, no sugar, no dairy, clean-eating, no artificial anything. You spend the entire time trying to keep her curious kids away from the ice cream and cake.
Most likely to say: “Oh gosh no, my kids would never want to eat anything like that’ – while her kids are stuffing mouthfuls of it behind her back.
WORK AT HOME TRENDY DAD – Often seen in cycling gear or dressed like an aging hipster in T-shirt and shorts. Talks loudly about his freelance work and invites himself to the mums’ coffee shop meet-ups. Most likely to say: “So, did I tell you about my latest project?”
DRIVE-BY MUMS – Harassed and stressed, they park on the double yellow lines outside the school gates and throw the kids out of the car before roaring off. Kids always still munching on a slice of toast as they haven’t had a proper breakfast. Can either be in PJs or in work suits. Most likely to say: “Quick, hurry up, get out before the traffic warden comes!”
SCOOTER GRANS AND GRANDADS – Heroic golden oldies who’ve swapped retirement for hardcore childcare duties so mum and dad can work. Always seen slowly making their way home laden with children’s scooters.
Most likely to say: “Don’t tell mummy’ while dishing out big bags of Haribo at pick-up time.
GOOD ENOUGH MUMS – Always makes drop-off by the skin of her teeth, usually feed the ‘beige rainbow’ at playdates, often in jogging bottoms with hair in a messy topknot but loves her kids before anything else. Most likely to say: “Is it too early for wine o’clock?”
Sooo, did you find yourself in there, or maybe a mix of a couple, obviously this is a light hearted look at the morning and afternoon school runs, and just a bit of a laugh, but Channel Mum conducted a poll and found that worryingly, over half of parents say there is a hierarchy of mums at the school gates with 72 per cent feeling excluded by other parents and five per cent even being bullied, a quarter of mums admit they ‘dread it’, with 74 per cent of parents claiming to feel more pressure to look well-groomed on the school run than in previous years.
But its not all doom and gloom, the school gates can also a place of friendship with two in five mums meeting a best friend on the school run and 29 per cent actively supporting a small business run by other parents at their school.
I have been doing the school run at the same primary school since 2002, and I have seen many changes over the years, on Monday I will be taking my youngest to ‘big school’ for the very first time, i’m not going to lie, I am dreading it, thank goodness for Merrie the Puppy!
So, if you find yourself at the school gates and there is a new mum looking slightly apprehensive, give her a smile, if you’re feeling particularly brave, strike up a conversation with her, you never know she may become your BFF.
Happy School Runs People xxx